well, just because.

no one likes to be told what to do, no one likes to be constantly told.
because it seems that soon enough, you may kinda forget who you are in the first place. after all that alterations done by people who care for you.
so then i don't know. if they really care, would they keep bossing you around? but they do it cause they love you. can i say no then, because i love myself too?

i've been listening to people who have a louder voice than me, telling me what to do.
all these years.. to please people, i do what they say. i oblige. i shrug it off when people make me sad. i do what people want and expect me to do. because i'm quiet and because i've accepted long ago that people like changing you because it makes them benefit as well. i'm like a mindless robot now. leave me alone for a day and i'll die. are you going to turn around and say that it's my fault for being too easy? you hear, but do you listen?

'hey mom, there's going to be a dance performance and i'm in it!'

'ooh'

'yeah that means i'm gonna be practicing alot. but the actual day is on xx, you wanna come watch?'

'watch what?'

so today i felt this wave of tiredness, because all my life i've done what people wanted. i felt.. dare i say it, rebellious. i felt like doing something bad, something disruptive, something that nobody would ever expect.

i went and jay-walked for 3 consecutive crossings, i kicked a dust bin, i sat on a bench and carved my name and i stuck my tongue out at a cat. it felt strangely.. rewarding.
but they weren't exactly rebellious i know. i won't be thaat stupid to smoke/drink/tatto myself
but it felt goood. not illegal but not legal either.
know what i'm saying?

yeah, me neither.