okay so maybe i have been using dance as my means of 'escape'.
i have been tryna run away from reality by dancing because at least
when i'm dancing, i'm focused on the dance and not on my worries.
when i'm dancing, all that matters now are the steps, timing, accent, music and the fellow dancers standing beside me.
when i'm dancing, my stress is relieved. i'm shaking it out, sweating it out, letting it all out.

what insecurities? what lawsuit? what responsibilities?

i know that in the studio, i don't have to pretend to be someone i'm not.
i'm not a good dancer and i know that. but at least i try and i see everyone around me trying and that pushes me to dance even more. there is no fear in the studio (okay, maybe a bit lol) and it's almost therapeutic to watch the seniors dance around- and you see how one day if you train hard enough, you too can be as good as them.

and that's why i love going for dance practices.
the feeling's awesome that at the end of the session i just wish things wouldn't end quite so soon.. that maybe if i linger around in the studio for a little while longer.. then i can keep that good feeling within me for just a little while longer.
but i know i can't stay there forever so i slowly trudge my way back home.

in the studio, just dancing or lazing around or doing whatever, i feel like i'm in a bubble.
but like all bubbles, they burst and will fall back to the ground again.

i can't keep running away from the things outside of dance.
how long can i hide in the studio and stay in my own world of dance anyway?

i must face them;
the things i'm running from.

Father, i don't wanna run away from You.
i wanna run back towards You.
and i'm sorry i didn't trust.