My life is average (yeah right)

- Today, I heard that Mountain Dew lowers your sperm count. I freaked out because I drink a lot of it, and I want kids. Then I remembered that I'm a girl. MLIA.

- Today, it's my time of the month. I was craving something sweet. I was searching through my backpack and found a box of Dots with a note from my boyfriend saying "Please don't hurt me today. I love you." I realize why I love him so much. MLIA

- Today, I got into a fight at school, and my principal called my dad. When he arrived, she told him that I got into a fight. The first thing he said was 'Who won?!'. When I told him I did, he gave me a high five then turned to the principal and said 'So does she get some sort of prize or something?'. The look on her face was priceless. MLIA.

- Today, as I was walking into Walmart. I was pretending I was a Jedi using 'the force' to open the automatic door. I continued in only to have the greeter say,"Welcome to Walmart, and may the force be with you" MLIA

- Today, I was flipping through my math textbook and I found a band aid inside it. When I turned to the next page I got a bad paper cut. Thanks mysterious person who left the band aid in my textbook. MLIA

- Today, I went to the record shop to get a movie that apparently has an age limit. The cashier asked for my ID, and I accidently showed him a Pokémon card that I've kept in my wallet for years. He smiled and said 'Level 28. OK, you're good'. MLIA

- Today I walked into our apple tree. It scratched me. Next thing I knew, an apple fell by my feet. Apology accepted. MLIA

- Today, my boyfriend came dancing into the kitchen singing my name over and over, just as I was preparing to leave for work. He saw me, blushed and said “Oh, you’re still here”. Made my day. MLIA

- Today, a guy at the store where I work asked me out. I said no. He asked me out again. I said no. The third time he asked me out I turned around, pointed my pen at him, and said, "Petrificus Totalus!" He fell to the ground as if he were petrified. We're going out tomorrow. MLIA

MLIA
(my life is average)

side note: at first I thought the 'A' in MLIA stood for 'awesome'. this website is where people post about their lives and the interesting things that happen to them.. like FML or GMH. but MLIA shows how 'average' life ain't so 'average' sometimes. well it's all on our perspectives.