drawn out

a startling question that mrs chng asked me when i went back for contemp dance;
'are you still writing, felicia?'

such a simple question, yet it started so much more profound thoughts in my head.
writing.
the good ol' joy in writing.
it brought so much glee back in sch when we had to write essays for eng and lit pieces.
the ability to express one's emotions on a piece of blank paper.. that piece of blank paper awaiting the pen ink to bring life onto the page.
it was almost an obsession, really.
how tempting it was to withdraw into my own world made out of blank canvas where i could just scribble anything text i choose.
why, it's a freedom of speech.
and you certainly are beginning to lose that kind of innocent freedom these days.


so on paper is where i let loose my thinkings, my feels, my wiles- where i could be myself without anyone calling me foolish.
i did rather well in sch for those subjects because i'd learn to tap into the mystical world of making things come alive by writing on paper. no, not drawing them out. but rather, by letting the reader experience her own scene while the writer helps stimulate the brain to imagine, to inspire, to initiate. every person's perception of a story may not be the same, even though they all read the same words. the power of their mind lets them create a visual illusion of how they wish to see things.
like a secret playground.
like a secret playground where you can just be yourself.



oh how i miss writing.
i guess the blog is the next best substitute for me to pen down my musings of dinosaurs and global warming and peach trees.
but alas, i lost practice and now my writing hinges have all gone rusty. will i ever be able to go back to my passion, or will things be different now that i haven't properly written for so long?
a year to be exact. a long and enduring year.
oh how things have changed within a span of three hundred and sixty five days short days.

three hundred and sixty five short days make one long year.
i wonder if four hundred and ninety wrongs make one right.




"are you still writing, felicia?"
"yes. yes, i am."






they're still waiting for you, felicia.

post script

I am confident that the good works God has begun in me will be perfected.
Phil. 1: 5

















p.p.s: i'll be back blogging real soon.
p.p.p.s: siti and euminl, i'll send you the pics real soon too!

danzation '08

WAS A TOTAL BLAST!

it was really a gr8 time and gosh nra feels like one big family!
like whether we really know each other or not, makes no difference because we're in it together and we can smile and laugh and hug to encourage each other. it really is an awesome feeling.
now that's danzation's over, it feels kinda.. empty.
no dance training, no smoke machines, no more going to the studio-
aww i suddenly miss it all.
i miss dance. i miss nra.
i miss the feeling of dancing to an audience, that adrenaline rush i get.

it is true, what Ann and the seniors say, that we'd never have the same experience again.
but i'm sure the next production will be better than the last, because we'll keep moving to the next level.


and omg i just have to say that i love n329
thanks for coming down to watch the performance and i'm glad you all enjoyed it!
it means a lot to me that you guys were there (physically or spiritually lol)




thanks for not forgetting about me while i'm busy with dance practices and being lethargic and all and *sniff* you guys just *sniff* rock. and *blows nose* thanks for the love and *starts bawling* i wanna thank my mom and dad, and shawn and ezekiel and marquis. *i need more tissue!* you guys make my life so worth living. *third box of tissue coming up* there's so much i wanna tell everyone around me.. that those 3 words are not even enough to begin with! *shit my house is flooding*


but this is christmas (almost)
so in the festive season of thanksgiving,
here's to the people in my life.
to the friend i just made online 10 mins ago to my oldest BFFs;

I LOVE YOU.

i miss you and you and you and you

BFF <333



i'm 17!





supah belated pics, we went out during my bday and took some pics :)
i will not mourn my bday anymore but honestly, i don't even feel 17.
don't say that i don't even look 17, it's a bit sad after a while.
i mean i can joke about it ah, but for how long can i laugh along?


sigh i should stop if the joke has gone way too far, b4 it flies off into space and we can never take it back.
because space is just a cold empty vacuum filled with dark matter and dark energy and the occasional black-hole drama.

but with such a vast blank space, it's up to you to fill it up with pretty stars and faith and all the good things (like a half-eaten sandwich an astronaut accidentally lost 2 years ago)

or,
you can get sucked into a black-hole together with other particles and what not. perhaps you like the thrill of getting pulled in to some gravity. but remember to grab a handlebar to save yourself b4 it's too late. don't forget to remember.
lest you get stuck in the vortex of nothingness.




p.s: loads been going on, but like the pictures, you can tell that i'm slow to update so gimme some time. prolly after danzation i'll keep like spamming my blog with new posts cors i just have too much to tell!
all of my Father's goodness and wisdom- i want to share! soon, soon. real soon.

uh, how soon is soon?

where i can just be myself;

EDIT: I TYPED THIS ENTRY OUT ON 20TH JULY, NOT SURE WHY I DIDN'T POST IT BUT I JUST SAW IT AND DECIDED TO POST IT NOW LOL.

dear diary,

it's prolly been a while since i've last told you how i was.
so many things! i just don't know where to start.

omg yes, there was this traumatic incident that happened. and it just reminded me how perverse the world is now. thank God he who is in me is stronger than he who is in the world. seriously. just when i thought it was over. but it's just like what celia said i guess? and i wished i had kicked the guy in the nuts where it'll hurt most. or like laughed at him in his face. that reminds me, i've to get pepper spray. for my safety, russel, not cors i enjoy using it on people!
don't worry, i'm pretty much fine now. but it's so sad to know that my years of learning tae-kwan-do failed me in such a time.

oh and! i went for this block party thingy and woah,
GSE is one of my personal fave band now!
i think WGB too.
lol and field?


right anyways, my days've been kinda filled up recently.
CORS ALL MY DEADLINE SUBMISSONS ARE IN TWO WEEKS OR LESS
so i really gotta plan my time properly now.
like to the exact hour. to the exact minute.
6:23am -wake up.
6:24am- lie in bed amd stretch.
6:25am- think of my day, and commit it to God.
6:26am- still praying
6:27am- still praying
6:28am- still praying
6:29am- still praying
6:30am- sit on bed, do i really have to wake up now?
6:31am- okay 5 more mins.
6:32am- zzzz

no that won't do!
i'm talking about how to plan my time effectively and i'm wasting time doing this plan!
okay i should list things according to priority then.
i'd prolly write it in my planner later.


well i had this dream some time ago, weird weird dream. lol
almost scary.
i dreamt i had an arranged marriage, to this guy whom i don't really wanna spend 20mins with, let alone my whole life.
remember my mid-life crisis where i thought an arranged marriage was prolly better for the world?
well i'm taking it back right now!
i think it wont be better!
and i don't wanna marry that guy!
so say no to arranged marriage, and premartial sex!
i remember i put this on my msn nickname once and people were asking
i put 'SAY NO TO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE!' or something like that. haha
back when i was young.
i kinda miss the old days, at times.
but yeah, the present days are just getting better and better :D
and i'm sure the future will just keep getting better and better-er!
though, i sometimes still fear the unknown.

like, what's gonna happen to me 10 years from now?
will i be happy?
will i be successful?
will i still be on fire for Him?
sometimes, i get scared when i think about it.
have you felt like that b4?
i know that our lives are in His hands and so we needn't worry,
but i just can't stop myself from worrying about it at times.
and when people talk to me about what i wanna be in the future, i put on a great front and list all my dreams and visions. and i talk like i'm so sure of my future. when i'm 5% still fearful of what's to come. and no, i don't know what's my future gonna be like though, just little revelations here and there that God has shown me, but the rest of my life?
yes, truth's out.
i'm not always that secure.
i'm not always full of faith.
but that's why i need God my whole life. cors he'll give me the security i need, and the faith that'll overflow.
and! with mom and dad, i'm blessed, i have to say.

oh guess what!
i never thought i'd really go for branded goods and the works,
but i'm in love with the it bag of the moment,
miu miu coffer bag! the one in ivory is my fave! actually black's pretty too. hm. ivory or black? i'm thinking.. ivory! no no wait, black! or.. ivory?

ah i just went on and on and on and on.
gotta go get ready for later!
btw, playing dress-up is the 2nd fun-est thing to do!


signing off,
felicia.

jimble jamble

christmas list: wacom tablet!
so i can doodle more like the above lol
but i don't know, i've never wanted gadgets.
like i don't find much need to own an ipod or a digital cam cors i'd rather spend my money on clothes and food BUT a wacom is too fun to resist!
it gives me so much freedom to express myself and all. seeing as how i don't even find the need to buy a mouse for my mac. yes i bet you're shaking your head at what a technology-less mouse i am.



-------

my dad and i had this conversation in the car after he'd pick me up from dance.

me: dad! COE is only 2 bucks! let's buy a new car! (after all, who can say no to cheap stuff right!)
dad: yeah i know! i was checking out those family cars that day.
me: so! let's buy cars!

so we discussed the different types of cars we could buy.

me: buy a van ah, save money. then we put plastic cars with seat belts in the back.
dad: but inspection time got to take out
me: that'll be the least of our problems, i think.

and.

dad: even better, let's buy a mini bus. it'd be great during CNY when we need to pick mama and yeye up.
me: oh yeah omg that's so cool! haha then you pick me up in a mini bus in sch and people will try to get up too.
dad: but the bad thing is it can't speed.
me: oh. and imagine if you wait for me in clementi and some old woman tries to board.
me: oh that can be your part time job heh!

okay i've this theory. (i actually have a lot of theories lol just ask me about them one day)
when you want to buy a car, buy a cab instead!
and here you all flabbergastedly ask why.
here's why!

you can drive around to your destination and put the 'busy' sign.
then if you're bored or need a bit of cash, just drive around and pick a few people up and voila!
you won't waste your life away and you get some pocket money too.

buy a cab, today!




--------------

now whenever i'm bored/ want to make a point/ listen to catchy beats/ real bored/ restless/ anything, i snap my fingers!
i can snap my fingers now, finally!
so lol i abuse my power and snap my fingers around people.. and then they snap their fingers back at me and theirs sound way more solid. -.-

list of things i now can do!
1) snap my fingers, duh :D
2) swallow a panadol pill whole! (most of the time)
3) eat a portion of my vegs
4) drink milk and not get a stomach ache ( i used to be a tad bit lactose-intolerant)
5) arch BOTH eyebrows

to each his own okay, stop laughing at me just cors i seem slow in my development or whatevs!




----------------

next time when i get married and am a mom,
i want to be just like my mom!
she can get excited over grocery shopping, it's adorable!

mom: we're home from ntuc! and look what i brought!
me: huh?
mom: *walks over and pulls out a bag* tadah! look at this bargain! (it's the bliss yogurt drink thing and you buy 2 you get a pink cooler bag)
me: oooooh wow. *gets a bit infected with my mom's enthusiasm*
mom: and look! *pulls out seventeen magazine for me*
me: yay :D
mom: *poses in her pink cooler bag for a while then walks bouncily to the kitchen*

okay don't tell my mom i said this yeah?
even though she is the coolest, cutest and goodest mom ever!




----------------

lastly lastly-

it's awesome beyond awesome to be in a christian family household cors whenever you can just share your faith and all that, y'know?
cors recently i was experiencing heart pains and was complaining to my parents ah. then the pain came back after a while when we were watching grey's anatomy and i was trying to twist my arm and doing practically anything to soothe the pain when my mom suddenly placed her hand on me and started praying for healing. soon after my bro placed his hands on me and joined in the prayer. after that we smiled and then continued watching tv.


thanks God for my friends and family especially <3

Flow

As i go through life right now,
so many things that are happening, so many things that life is throwing at me.
so many til' i just want to crack.
and just when i'm about to cave in,
i remember about the most important thing i can do;

Pray.

Prayer is a privilege given to us. it's our only means of communication to our Heavenly Father, the time where we are in fellowship with Him, the time when we go to Him for help, the time when we just need a friend to share our burdens with.

I remember when i first started regularly attending church again, we would have prayer focus and prayer conferences weekly. i wasn't used to praying aloud or praying in a group. boy, it really used to scare me. i must admit, i used to dread going for these prayer meetings but at the same time i didn't want to miss any praying session. what was i so afraid of? myself. i was afraid that i may say the wrong things and that people may laugh. or that my prayer wasn't as strong and powerful as my friend's. i was afraid to make mistakes, i was so afraid that it hindered me from expressing my true self, the things that i'd wanted to say in my prayers, they became prayers to please men- not God.

But slowly i learnt how to pray, i gained the confidence to begin praying out loud in prayer meetings. i begun praying in short prayers, but at least i know the prayer comes from my heart this time. soon, prayer became part of my lifestyle. queit time, church and anywhere really.

And i found it so true, that prayer really works. God really answers prayers.
In this messed up and chaotic place, it's the only thing we can really count on.

'Stop telling God how big your storm is.
Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!'





He's up there, hearing us. :)



p.s: i wrote this post a few weeks ago, never really got a chance to properly post it up.

whooooooo

i want to love

like how my parents love me.

no matter what, they'd always be there for me.
at the end of the day, after i'm back all tired out;
there they will be, waiting for me to come home. waiting to unlock the gate for me, waiting to shower me with hugs and kisses.

that's really just what i need at night, when i'm all stressed or sleepy or feeling bad about myself, their love just breaks through the cold air to warm my heart. their hugs crush every negative feeling i have inside.

their love is the example of how Abba Father's love is to me.
at the end of my day, i know i can go to Him, where He'll pour out His love to me, to fill me again.
so i overflow,
and His love reaches the people around me.
and so i love.

"I love, because You first loved me. My first joy, the world can never take from me."


i have this deep and assuring love that rushed into my heart, just thinking about my Heavenly Father and parents.
i want to share this, i want everyone to feel this security, this peace in their hearts through a storm.


because only love can give you such comforting warmth when it's raining out.
love and hot cocoa, that is. :)





hey chia lynn. ;)

once upon a time..

felicia and her friends, jocelyn renee doreen and hannah, went on a road trip to a far far away land.
through the rocky roads and cannibals' caves, they crossed raging oceans to make their way..
to a place where dreams come to life.
to a place where creativity is not limited.
to a place where the elders would whisper amongst themselves about the secret second home.

to sweden, more specifically.





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-





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to IKEA, much more specifically.

this is how we made our way;

my boat ride for only 50 cents.



hannah the brave, her chosen transportation is a 50 cents horse ride. watch her giddy-up!



jocelyn pushed the trolley of meatballs through the storm. Even the waves love IKEA's meatballs.



and doreen loves them meatballs too! (i'll eat you up, so yum yum)
she used meatballs to travel across the ocean.



renee couldn't make it as she was preparing for her exam paper: theology- how to take over the world.
important stuff. so we wished her all the best and we continued with our voyage!



so with the guidance of our special all-seeing map,
we arrived on unknown territory.

we entered a strange and mystical land, and it was nothing like what the elders had described.

we saw...


a mirror greeted us at the entrance. and it had some sort of magic powers!
can you see what it did to us?





... it made our legs grow longerrrr!

and next, we saw...



-


---



-----




--------




THROW, FELICIA FOR 15 BUCKAROOS.

i know, what kind of twisted place is this right?!

so because this place had weird forces beyong our comprehendsion,
hannah took it literally and guess what?



yeah you guessed it, she tried to throw me.



but the meatballs came in time to save us before we got too enchanted by the swedish land and whisked us off!
we stood at the mystical mirror for the last time.




and bid goodbye to the gr8 adventure.



enough flying meatballs to last us a lifetime :)
and renee aced her test to take over the world!



* * * *
happily ever after?


YOU BETCHA :D


(pictures credit to doreen :)

belated

Edge night was a blast!
The gr8 make-over indeed.
Everyone looked good :D
and the praise and worship was rockin;
and the message was even better.

on the bus ride, the bus driver drove like an f1 driver. it was like a rollacoaster on land. turn to the left, people flew to the left. turn to the right, people swung to the right. but the driver suddenly stopped the bus and got out of the bus, sat at the bus stop for a minute or two, before driving off again. i heard he did that because he couldn't tolerate the ruckus everyone was making on the bus.
poor guy.
he needs some kindness in this world.
someone to show him some love and patience.
i think i know just what he needs.
or rather, who he needs.

i should've invited him for edge!
or not, since he's old.
okay i know.

ASIA CONFERENCE!

okay i pray i may see him again on a bus ride soon.
no i'm not gonna keep taking bus 243 daily to try and bump into him.
i won;t ah. i've got better things to do..

or maybe i will.


---


i walked into my first class of the semester and guess who i saw!
(no not the tooth fairy. and not goldilocks ah okay stop guessing lemme tell you now to end your misery)


JINGYING.

i know right. what are the odds?

lol okay so next day i had soc psych and guess who was in the lecture room too?


CALVIN PHUA.

haha this semester is turning out pretty cool, my lecturers are nice and they try to make lessons as interesting as possible :)


---


my home's internet connection is setting up a protest,
i think it's tryna ask my dad for more pay or more electricity to eat or something that internet connections like but don't get enough of.
so while it's refusing to work, drinking electric coffee and laughing at our helplessness,
i'm blogging this down in sch- yay internet!- in art class.
we're watching a man sculpt the butt of the hulk on clay now.
tata!

p.s: all the best phua, for your audition! blow their socks off :D

this is an ad. find it.

lately, i've been trying to write things..
poems, songs, stories and even limericks!

the thing is,
i haven't been practicing my writing and english so i'm pretty horrible at it now.
and perhaps it's like riding a bike.. once you grasp the concept you can always ride back on whenever.
and with practice of course.
but i think i might have lost 'it'.
and i can't lose 'it' cors 'it' is a big part of my life!
not too sure what 'it' is at the moment but i'm sure i'll figure it out when 'it' comes back to me.
so what better way to find lost things by putting up an ad!


* * *



*cue music and bright colours and all sort of advertising gimmicks.

i'm seeking to find 'it' again,
and whoever that helps me regain 'it' will have a reward!
you can have a strand of my purple hair..
you can have my white flower clip (once i find it, that is)
or i'd even hold marquis in place just so you can pet him!

so if you think you know how to find 'it' back, don't hesitate to call!
you know my number- 1900-123-FIND-IT ;)
(sorry it ain't toll-free)


*music fades softly into the background. so do all the annoying flashes of neon light and whatnot.


* * *

God, inspire me again, like how you always have.

3 words :D

BANGKOK, HERE I COME!

gifninja.com Create custom animated gifs at gifninja.com!



hahah i wrote shopping lists for everyone already, no worries.
time to unwind!

-


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-


p.s: thanks celia, i'm all better after they things you reminded me about. :)

what a friend we have in Jesus, all our something something to share.
oh what peace we often forfeit, all the something somthing to bear.
all because we do not carry, everything to the Lord in prayer!
i absolutely love this song.
(wait lemme google the correct lyrics lol my lyrics are kinda useless)

* * *

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.



<3, i feel so blessed.

i don't talk to myself! (much)

"those 3 words
are said too much
they're not enough."

ugh this feeling sucks.
the worse thing is that i know it's not true, that i'm not as ______ as it keeps telling me.
horrible insecurity, be gone.

and i thought i'd overcome it already but like what jingying said it doesn't completely go away just yet.
so i'm gonna keep on.
it's so near, it's near.


dear felicia,
please remember to never give up. always remember who you are to Him, not so much to people around you.
remember the dreams, and move with faith.
remember to drink more water in this humid weather.
remember to hold your concerts nightly in your room, the fans and dustmites are always waiting.
remember to pack my bags for my trip.
remember to bring my passport with me.
remember to not try and pluck marquis' fur to bring with you overseas. he just might get pissed.
remember to tell dad that you won't be home on tues night.
remember to alter the clothes so that they actually fit me.
remember to bake rainbow cupcakes for my family, friends and cg to show my love for their stomachs.
remember to remember!
and last thing, remember to throw the box of food beside you now unless you really want tiny 6-legged friends for company.

love,
felicia.

bank(er)?

when le en says update,
i update. :D


dance camp was the biz boz. i really had fun!
which was quite a surprise because i'm not a camp person and usually i don't like to go for camps but this camp, i didn't regret going to this camp at all!
but i just burnt and crashed right after the camp, i'ver never been this tired since mrs chng made us train like crazy.
speaking of which, i missed the teachers' day celebration thingy and i miss mrs chng!
maybe i should go back to tanglin soon.


oh!
i bet some of you don't know that i'm working!
what's more, it's in a bank omg.
haha here's the conversation i have with people;


Fel: 'hey i'm working now! 9-6 job omg.'
Friend: 'oh! really? where/as what'
Fel: 'in a bank!
Friend: 'a bank?! banker?! how'd you get the job?!'
Fel: ' i got in through.. *points to brain* this.'
Friend: 'yeah right.'
Fel: 'no really, im working as a banker cors im the only one in class who failed Olvls math. :D '

lol people automatically think i'm a banker cors i work in a bank!
i'd like them to think i'm thaat smart to be a banker but they don't have to know that i'm just an assistant to the bankers and i do labour task like sort mails and what not.



-



-



-



last thing,
Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day is a really good movie!
catch it if you can ;)


love you all!

spam!

here are some pictures,
cors we humans need to see to be.
(or su'm like that, i can't quite recall)
and so i can assure you that this is actually my blog.. not some bot created to keep people entertained.

(and i realized that my blog is supah wordy. so here're some of the recent pictures injected into the blog all at once)

































in other words, don't we love pictures!

to be or not to be.

i just had to post this quick, fairly frivolous entry about a bag i've been lusting for since it came out.
i have never, i repeat, NEVER ever gotten this crazy about a bag b4!
and i'm not a brands kinda girl. no, i don't have to wear dior or chanel or the works.
i usually just stand and admire from afar.
but eh-ma-gawd.
i got reminded of this bag,
the first ever bag that i had such a strong strong reaction to ever since i laid eyes on it.
it is gorgeous. seriously.

behold;

the Miu Miu Coffer Leather Handbag.




(yeah i know, it's totally out of season now. but i care not! i still like it! i would have liked it better if it wasn't miu miu so i can afford it better, alas.)
totally pretty-making!
and functional.
i sooo want this.
if i ever have this bag, i'd prolly bring it out like, everyday.
or maybe just buy a glass cabinet to display it.
both ways, i'm still putting the bad to good use, don't you agree!

i wish someone would get me the bag,
it's all i want for christmas!

okay maybe not all i want for chirstmas. but it is my top 3!
lol i should make a christmas list. yes, i WILL make a christmas list!
who cares if its only august now, i'm gonna make my list asap!
just not now though. now i just wanna look at my Miu Miu bag and gush over it.
i'm imagining what i can wear with it..
which is pretty much any clothes :D

but i don't think i can get it cors it's about USD1,500 excluding shipping (just for a leather bag, my mom would say) and it's sold out at net-a-porter :(
i've seen some like $300 or even a $60 one in sg! but i dare not trust it. what if there are horrible defects or if the leather grows fungi like chialynn's leather bracelet lol

okay, blah.
i'll end this rant now.

i'll post my christmas list real soon!
and!
haha i was camwhoring with my dad just now,
i'll put up pictures soonnnn
you can totally laugh your heart out to that.
well, at least i did.

i'm ususally not this crazy, just to have you know.
i'm not thaaat materialistic lol honest.
clothes and accessories are simply necessities, is all.
like how those 2 new dresses and that new top are necessities too.

gosh i want some new shoes.
like heels and dr martens!

let's go shopping!
who's with me?? :D






edit:
after calming down from my outburst,
i can calmly and rationally say that i do not need so much clothes and that i should save instead of spending every penny i have. and that i am really contented with all that i have and wish for nothing more. i'm going over to my corner to repent and reflect for a while. i mean, the physical things will pass away but the spiritual things will not.
i'm re-arranging my priorities now.
change my mindset. no matter how pretty that miu miu bag is. no matter how good it may look with my new dress. no matter how gorgeous the design of the bag is, the plaits, the pleats and the brown.
i can do this!
:D

when i was young;

in primary sch,
i remember watching my classmate in the canteen, during recess or lunch, and thinking how i wished i did that too.
he would always order his food, go to a table with his friends
and just b4 he takes his first bite,
he will bow his head,
hands clasped together,
and muttered a silent thanksgiving prayer.
(something that we often know as 'saying Grace')

now back then,
no one else did this but him.
not even myself, when i knew i should have done so- seeing as i was a christian.
but i never had the courage.
i was afraid my friends would think me weird, or sometimes i simply forgot.
and i did not give my thanks b4 every meal for quite a while..
until this image of my classmate with his eyes closed, thanking the Almighty Father that he had another meal to partake entered my mind.

so to this day,
just b4 i take my first bite,
i will remember this classmate and
i will bow my head,
hands clasped together,
and mutter a silent thanksgiving prayer.


he motivated me.
he's the kind of example i wanna be.

bubbles, don't burst them.

there's a kingfisher in my estate!

i was walking out to the side gate just now to pass the cam to rae,
when i suddenly noticed the trees, flowers, everthing about my surroundings!
i mean, i HAVE noticed the lovely scenery around me for what, 7 years?
but today, everything looked extra beautiful and ethereal in the morning sunlight.
or maybe it's just 'cause i'm real happy after two nights of FOP.

anyhooo, as i was saying,
there's a kingfisher in my estate!
i don't know about you but like i rarely see kingfishers anywhere else.
and there was this big blue pretty kingfisher sitting on the rails of the pond.
it's like a mini eco-system in here!
the kingfishers (yeah i saw two of them) would eat the fishes in the pond, the residents will feed the fishes and tortises with bread and the stray birds will eat the crumbs!

there are yellow colored birds flying around too, with pretty butterflies you can see fluttering around the brightly colored flowers. there are lotsa green grass areas like small fields and this place just reminds me of botanic gardens.
maybe even better, since there's a swimming pool here with a local mart and security guards who patrol now and then.
and almost everyone knows each other!
the maids would meet in the afternoon, while walking the dogs, and just chit-chat their time away. as the dogs lie down lazily, looking at each other.
sadly, marquis is too shy to be with the other dogs so my maid won't really associate with the other maids much.
yes, marquis is very shy. he's not an angry man-eating growling unfriendly monster.
you should see the small yapping dogs who bark shrilly when they see him.
AS I WAS SAYING,
this place is like a small community!
so peaceful, and tranquil.
like a village!
even the cleaners are kind people.
honestly, it's perfect as it is :)
i don't think i'd change one bit of it.




now all we need are traffic lights to make this place a town.
and maybe a celebrity neighbour to move in and up the status of this town.
and maybe a shopping mall
with shops like f21, pull and bear, topshop and wetseal!
and a small polytechnic maybe. so i need not travel elsewhere.
shop, study. shop, study. swim, shop, study.
and if all my bestfriends moved into the estate..
and if hot guys moved in too.
why not even open up a cityharvest church here as well!

this place will be bursting with happy and fulfilled people.


okay fine, maybe only me.

short one.

zzzz



it's 1.36am now, but i'm only half-way done for my photography.
and there's a written test for it tmrw!
i'm super tak-glam now. rushing my work while i doze off now and then.
but! i just had to come up here to share something.
something i've taken for granted so many times, again and again.
today, my eyes were opened, to see the amazing people in my life.
i never really saw what i had in front of me..
but i do now.



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thank you God, for such amazing friends.

watch out!

I am allergic to kiwis.

i found out when i had kiwis at harbourfront, and then my mouth got itchy, then my throat, then my stomach. and i had a tummy ache the whole time after. it was Horrible, to say the least.



so! yesterday after sch, i met my mum up to buy some cloth material for me to start making actual dresses (and not just slipshot skirts and whatnot)!
i bought the cutest pattern, of a blue apples and green pears.
thing is,
i don't really know what type of dress i should make.
i'm spoilt for choices.
but the pattern of the cloth is so lovely, all i know is that i've to make a dress that's worthy.
gosh, i'm excited.
this would be my first time making my own dress!
soon i'll have my own store.. my own label.. i could even start making perfumes like sarah jessica parker! :D

and after BS i took the train and then the bus home with my mum.
but at the bus stop, there were people smoking and now not only people who smoke will die sooner,
because all of a sudden my nose started getting real itchy.
and so did my throat.
it felt soo damn uncomfortable...





They must've made a new flavour for cigarettes.
Kiwis.

moments i captured

for my photo assignment;

and candies for your eyes.
well my photog skills ain't that good, but i'm improving (i hope)
had fun with the shoots, under the scorching sun.
but hey, you know what they say.
the friends who perspire together stays together?





















(the two pics of me was taken by rae :)
rae's the pretty model, russe's the skate model, malay guy's unknown model.


cheers!








p.s: the colours in the picture don't come off as nicely as it does on my iphoto i don't know why. maybe it's nicer if you like view it full page or su'm.

it's mah style.

greetings earthlings.

i'm feeling rather relaxed in schl now because (almost) all of my assignment's been completed and submitted! but what goes on after doesn't quite give me a rush as the process of submitting my work.
here's why:

The vicious cycle of Poly life (or maybe just my sch life)
step 1) Pay attention in class/lecture.
step 2) Teacher warns you about the upcoming assignment, 3 weeks before hand.
step 3) So you try to pay attention in class so you'd know how to do the assignment well.
step 4) Well, you tried. you really tried.
step 5) May fail to focus and so lose the momentum. Hence, lose some important details about the assignment that's now due in *gasp* 1 week.
step 6) As reality sets in that you've to hand it up within 120 hours, you struggle and start praying for wisdom.
step 7) Just 10 hours before submission, manage to do quite a good(?) job despite the rushed conditions.
step 8) Think that maybe you just can work under pressure after all. Must be the prayers.
step 9) Submit the work on the deadline, feel the rush and celebrate the sense of achievement.
step 10) Feel rather relaxed in sch because (almost) all of the assignment's been completed and submitted. Then realize that it'll start all over again from step 1.


yeah, that's totally and honestly how it works for me.
well i;m not exactly proud of the way i'm doing it,
so i've taken it into account and i've made up a plan on how to improve!
wanna see? ;)









The new and improved vicious cycle of Poly life.

step 1) Pay attention in class/lecture.
step 2) Teacher warns you about the upcoming assignment, 3 weeks before hand.
step 3) So you try to pay attention in class so you'd know how to do the assignment well.
step 4) Buy sour sweets to stay awake in class. Or i should ask renee, hannah, doreen and jocelyn to slap me.
step 5) May fail to focus but go home to catch up on lecture notes. Thank God for MEL's sharing system.
step 6) Within 120 hours of submission, you have a good idea on what you want to do and how it will turn out.
step 7) Pray and seek his wisdom, and manage to finish all with good time.
step 8) Know that you don't have to work under pressure after all.
step 9) Submit the work on the deadline, feel the rush and celebrate the sense of achievement.
step 10) Feel rather relaxed in sch because (almost) all of the assignment's been completed and submitted. Then realize that it'll start all over again from step 1. And this time i won't be dreading it.


okay i think i shall start like... now!
when i see my friends in sch imma ask them to equip themselves with ways and means to keep me focused in class.
but i'll draw the line at red ants. and pulling of hair. and painful pinches. and pepper spray.
okay, definitely no pepper spray.
i mean, i only want to stay awake. not blind myself.

how hard can it be right?




hahah i have faith :D
& if faith can move the mountains,
it can surely keep me awake!




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i love you Jesus, deep down in my heart.
talk about deep deep down down deep down in my heart <3

make some sense

i'm back with updates.
as le en reminded me;
my blog's dead.
now's time to feed it some food again.
(sorry le en, i took so long to post up and had to make you wait lol love ya :)
& sorry it hasn't been blogging recently.
've been pretty busy this hols.
i think it's the busiest i've ever been on a sch holiday!
on normal hols, i'd just slack and decompose at home, go out shopping/movie-ing, go for dance classes and then finally when my hols are ending, i will rush out all my homework stuff. sometimes i'll be so bored i wished the hols would just end already.
truth's like that for some of us, no? ;)

but this hols!
the ALIVE program, oh boy, am i really alive.
it has been nothing but a fun and awesome experience with N329 and this time, E443 too :D
actually, awesome just doesn't describe it.
triproawecreation's more like it.
i just created this new word. lemme break it down for ya:

tri- the first part of triumph.
pro- favouring.
awe- from awesome and wonder.
creation- from recreation. the thrill and excitement at an activity.
so, triproawecreation can be used to describe awesome, but awesome with a victory and the thrill of what just happened.
:D





anyway,
i've been thinking,
(don't i always think lol)
that no matter how fast you move on to the future,
the past will always catch up with you- sooner or later.
the past meaning people whom you lost contact with, or people whom you'll never expect to come back from your memories. and no, not spirits!
i don't really know why..
but it hit me one day,
that actually God will send the people from your past (be it your old sch friends, distant relatives.. anyone whom you havent spoken to in a while) to you as a last chance to either catch up with them and get them back into your life..
or they slip away- as abruptly as how they entered back into your life.
so i guess it's really our choice.
whether we want them back into our lives again.. the different paths we'd take.
afterall,


as Josh said, 'What is love without free will, without the chance to make our own decisions?'


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edit:
(i don't need to prove myself)
[what's in me- doesn't matter if You're the only one who sees]
{after all, it's all for You, no one else}

`i know that You know it,
and that's more than enough.

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i placed the brackets in there to make it more fanciful lol to prettify my post.
shucks it ain't working though.
ah well.
(at least it's not emo...
'cors Shakespeare hates your emo poems hahaha)



it's more than enough :)

okay, i know i said life's been awesome and brilliant and i'm bubbly with happiness.
BUT

after that..
let's just say life isn't a bed of roses.

i'm stressing myself out with my photog assignment, some frustrations, my overdued sketchbook and second story draft.
and when do i have to submit them?

prolly in a years time?

how about 6 months time?

or.... 3 months time?

ah, 1 months' time ain't too bad.

oh perhaps i can rush it in 2 weeks.

i wish.
i really really wish.
like, really really really really.

'cause i procastinated and all (yeah it's kinda my fault that i'm in this hot boiling tomato soup-yeah i'm the main course)
so now i'm only left with

12 frickin' hours.

i was freaking out initially, but i'm feeling much more calm now. (thanks again jyings)

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okay i sense that miracles are gonna happen.





through my brokenness i can be an example.
now all i gotta do is survive the broken-ing.

so i haven't been blogging here,
doesn't been i haven't been blogging else where...

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(i'm gonna advertise my wordpress/school assignment blog here hehe)

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check www.sofelicious.wordpress.com out! :D
it's the best damn thing your eyes have ever seen.

okay not the beeeest, but still good LAH
i'm high right now, i think my maid slipped coke into my drink, and gosh when i'm high the whole world seems to be suchhh a nicer place than the world i live in normally.
seriously.
strangers will smile to me when i pass them on the streets..
okay prolly cors i'm humming away and smiling up at them too.

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life's been fab recently.
the only way it can get better is if i can pass my art lol
&!
maybe complete my shopping list
&!
maybe if i can watch ironman.

other than that,
i'm real contented.
:D

'kayyy well gtg i'm going for cgd soon yay!

music makes me lose control

I can do this.
I am so ready.
I am a confident dancer who can work it.
oh yeah, I'm ready to bring it on!

you must be thinking that i'm like mojo-crapping here but i'm not, FYI, i'm still very sane :D (last time i checked heh)
it's the nra auditions today and here goes nothing!
yesterday, booked a studio with renee, evan and rae to practice some moves in case it was needed today.
haven't danced in a long time, so was feeling kinda rusty but after some time, the kinks got kinked away!
rae was awesome, to say the least.
she helped me do an impromptu dance chereo and was patiently teaching it to me.
then, she helped renee and evan with their dance steps too.
if anyone was to have a successful future in dance,
it'll definitely be rae.

cors after we met up again at central mall,
we practiced the set of moves she gave and we hid in the handicap toilet (lol)
to get things right.
and like if things didn't look right, she could change and remember the moves..
just like *snaps finger* that!

so i wanna give a big shout-out to my dear rachel:
thanks for patiently teaching it, and i never once saw you get impatient or frustrated!
i really really appreciate the help, even though its not your audition but you still did your best, and i'll try my bestest for today!
i'll make God, you, jingying, sara, zhi hao and all you who encouraged me, proud!

i'm so hyped up for later.
we can so do this, renee :)

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i'll be back with good news!



edit: and i AM back with good news!
i got in NRA!!
yay!
but im kinda exhausted now so my brain's still processing this..
my excitement will commence tmrw.
be prepared for me suddenly breaking out into a dance or me suddenly jumping up and down in joy.

whoooooooo :D

and this is how we deal when classes end 3 1/2 hours earlier :D

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